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L24 · あげる・もらう・くれる
FOR TEACHERS ≈30 min to teach · 17 slides · 7 checks 2 min a slide, 1.5 a check. An estimate, not a lesson plan.
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REF あげます · もらいます · くれます (授受) ›
1. The three verbs
| Verb | Direction | Pattern | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| あげます | me/someone → others | わたしは 人に N を | 木村さんに花をあげました |
| もらいます | receive (receiver's view) | わたしは 人に/から N を | 木村さんに花をもらいました |
| くれます | someone → me / my in-group | 人は わたしに N を | 木村さんは（わたしに）花をくれました |
Why くれます exists:あげます cannot point at yourself. 「木村さんはわたしに花をあげました」✕
くれます also covers your family: 「田中さんは妹に本をくれました」○
2. て-form favors
| Pattern | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|
| 〜てあげます | I do a favor for someone | わたしは妹に本を貸してあげました |
| 〜てもらいます | I have someone do it for me | わたしは山田さんに電話番号を教えてもらいました |
| 〜てくれます | someone does it for me (their kindness) | 母はセーターを送ってくれました |
Politeness warning: 〜てあげます toward a superior sounds condescending — it advertises your own kindness. Use 〜ましょうか (L14) to offer instead.
With 〜てくれます, 「わたしに」is usually dropped.
3. Particle patterns inside て-favors
| Verb type | Particle | Example |
|---|---|---|
| verbs taking に | に | 友達に本を貸してあげました |
| verbs taking を (transport, escort) | を | 友達を駅まで送ってあげました |
| verbs taking の | の | 友達の荷物を持ってあげました |
4. Expressing gratitude
手伝ってくれて、ありがとう。
教えていただいて、ありがとうございました。Politer versions — くださいます · いただきます · さしあげます — come in L41.
Set expressions会話
手伝いましょうか。
ちょうどよかった。
助かりました。
いつでもどうぞ。
Key vocabulary
詳説 In depth — grammar notes ›
ウチ and ソト — the axis everything turns on
Japanese does not have a neutral 'give'. Every giving verb is chosen from a viewpoint: the speaker sits at the centre, and people are ranked by how close they are to that centre.
| Circle | Who | Counts as 'me' for くれます? |
|---|---|---|
| ウチ (inner) | me | yes |
| ウチ | my family, my company, my group | yes |
| ソト (outer) | friends, colleagues elsewhere, strangers | no |
This is why 母は妹に本をくれました works: your sister is inside your circle, so a gift to her is a gift toward you.
The three verbs, laid out by subject
| Verb | Subject is… | Arrow | Frame |
|---|---|---|---|
| あげます | the giver | me / anyone → outward | [giver]は [receiver]に N を あげます |
| くれます | the giver | someone → me / my group | [giver]は（わたしに）N を くれます |
| もらいます | the receiver | me / anyone ← someone | [receiver]は [source]に/から N を もらいます |
One event, three legitimate descriptions — the difference is only whose side you are standing on:
| Sentence | Viewpoint |
|---|---|
| わたしは木村さんに花をあげました | I am the giver |
| 木村さんはわたしに花をくれました | the other person gives, I benefit |
| わたしは木村さんに花をもらいました | I am the receiver |
木村さんはわたしに花をあげました ✕ — あげます cannot point back at the speaker. This is not a politeness preference, it is ungrammatical.
Third-party sentences
| Sentence | OK? | Why |
|---|---|---|
| 山田さんは木村さんに花をあげました | ○ | both outside my circle — neutral report |
| 山田さんは妹に花をくれました | ○ | my sister is inside my circle |
| 山田さんは妹に花をあげました | △ | grammatical, but distances you from your own sister |
| 妹は山田さんに花をもらいました | ○ | receiver as subject, no viewpoint clash |
Rule of thumb: if the arrow points toward your circle, くれます. If it points away, あげます. If you want to foreground the person who received, もらいます.
に vs から with もらいます
| Source | Particle | Example |
|---|---|---|
| a person | に (から also fine) | 友達に本をもらいました |
| a company, school, office | から only | 会社から手紙をもらいました |
に reads as 'from this person'; から stresses the point of origin, which is why an institution — with no single human giver — takes it.
て-form favours: the same three arrows, but for actions
Attach the giving verbs to a て-form and you are no longer giving an object — you are giving the act itself as a kindness. Japanese marks that explicitly where English does not.
| Plain report | As a favour | What changes |
|---|---|---|
| 母はセーターを送りました | 母はセーターを送ってくれました | adds gratitude — it was for me |
| 山田さんが教えました | わたしは山田さんに教えてもらいました | I arranged it / I benefited |
| わたしは妹に本を貸しました | わたしは妹に本を貸してあげました | frames it as my kindness |
A plain sentence without these verbs sounds cold when someone has clearly done something for you. 友達が手伝いました is a police report; 友達が手伝ってくれました is how a person talks.
〜てもらいます is how you describe services
Anything you arranged, paid for, or asked for is naturally 〜てもらいます — the subject is you, the doer takes に.
| Japanese | English |
|---|---|
| 髪を切ってもらいました | I got my hair cut |
| 先生に作文を直してもらいました | I had my teacher correct my essay |
| 友達に駅まで送ってもらいました | a friend gave me a lift to the station |
| 写真を撮ってもらえませんか | could I get you to take a photo? |
The 〜てあげます politeness trap
〜てあげます announces your own kindness. Toward a superior — or straight to the person's face — it sounds smug, and toward a customer it is rude.
| Situation | Avoid | Say instead |
|---|---|---|
| offering help to a superior | 持ってあげましょうか | お持ちしましょうか (L50) |
| offering help to a peer | 手伝ってあげます | 手伝いましょうか (L14) |
| telling a third party what you did | — | 手伝ってあげました ○ (fine here) |
Reporting a favour you did to someone else is normal. The problem is only announcing it to the beneficiary.
Particles inside a て-favour
The favour verb does not impose a particle — the base verb keeps its own.
| Base verb takes | Example |
|---|---|
| に | 友達に本を貸してあげました |
| を (people moved / escorted) | 友達を駅まで送ってあげました |
| の (a possession is acted on) | 友達の荷物を持ってあげました |
| に + を (a recipient and a thing) | 子どもに本を読んであげました |
Pick the particle by asking what the base verb does on its own: 送ります (escort a person) takes を, so the favour form keeps を even though a person is involved.
Saying thank you with these verbs
| Register | Pattern | Example |
|---|---|---|
| casual | 〜てくれて、ありがとう | 手伝ってくれて、ありがとう |
| polite | 〜てくれて、ありがとうございます | 教えてくれて、ありがとうございます |
| formal | 〜ていただいて、ありがとうございました | 説明していただいて、ありがとうございました |
The formal row uses the L41 humble set — くださいます ·いただきます ·さしあげます — which is this same three-verb system one politeness level up. Learning the L24 arrows properly makes L41 almost free.
Error table
| ✕ | ○ | Why |
|---|---|---|
| 木村さんはわたしに花をあげました | …くれました | あげます can't point at me |
| わたしは木村さんに花をくれました | …あげました | くれます needs me as the receiver |
| わたしは会社に手紙をもらいました | 会社から… | institutions take から |
| 先生、荷物を持ってあげます | お持ちしましょうか | てあげます is condescending upward |
| 先生が教えてもらいました | 先生に教えてもらいました | the doer takes に, not が |
Try translating
| English | Japanese |
|---|---|
| A friend lent me a book. | 友達が本を貸してくれました |
| I gave my little sister a dictionary. | わたしは妹に辞書をあげました |
| I got a letter from the company. | 会社から手紙をもらいました |
| I had my teacher correct my composition. | 先生に作文を直してもらいました |
| Could you take a photo for me? | 写真を撮ってもらえませんか |
| Thank you for helping me. | 手伝ってくれて、ありがとう |
'I gave Ms. Kimura flowers.'
'Ms. Kimura gave ME flowers.'
'I received flowers from Ms. Kimura.'
'Mr. Yamada told me the library's phone number (I had him tell me).'
'My mother sent me a sweater (her kindness).'
'I lent my little sister a book (as a favor).'
Taro (someone else's child) helped YOU carry luggage. Report it.
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みんなの日本語 · Lesson 24